"Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."

On the road today, A Classic Niner is taking it to America!!  W00T!  No really, just a business trip down to Trenton.  Georgia, not New Jersey.  Thank God!! 


Got pulled over just outside of Indianapolis.  I guess I was doing 76 in a 55 zone.  I was able to talk my way out of it with a warning!  Not sure if I should say much about how I did it; the officer might read this site.  Yeah, I know, what a crappy tease.


Be patient, these posts will get better.  I have been off, and am building back up to gameday slowly.  Don't want to suffer writer's cramp...


Don't forget to thank the volunteers!

Rico

"Listen, You Should Get Your Cousin Jeffrey to Write Some Material For You."

I am sending out a note American Idol style to see if anyone wants to be a guest writer.  My goal is to have writers from all across America enter their work.

Don't forget to thank the volunteers!

Rico

"First They Stick You with the Undercoating, Rust-Proofing, Dealer Prep... Suddenly You're on Your Back Like a Turtle."

So I have been driving around since shortly before Christmas and have noticed that when I accelerated, I had a terrible vibration in the front of my car.  When I let off the accelerator, the vibration went away.  My initial thought was to simply stop; however that sort of defeats the point of owning a car.

Stopped over the weekend at the mechanic's place.

"Yeah, you shouldn't drive it anymore...", he said.

By the way, if you didn't know, I drive a BMW...  Yeah, that will leave a mark...

I will give you all an update.  In the meantime, I might need to run to work.

Don't forget to thank the volunteers!

Rico

"I Gotta Get on That Internet. I'm Late on Everything..."

So I have to admit it has been quite a while since I last posted... April 22nd to be precise... Wow! A lot has happened in that time. All the while I have gone on without providing any substance to all your lives. Summer is a tough time to write, as there are much better things to do compared to the Fall/Winter/Spring. So Buck Up. I will be back. Oh, and I have some pretty funny stuff to post. You can ask Mrs. DeSpeedstra (not my mother). She won't give any details, but trust me on this one...

Oh, Don't forget to thank the volunteers.

Rico

"I'm Going Home to Spatula." or "I Hate Spoons..."

I’m done with washing dishes. You read that correctly.

It is a bad investment.

Seriously.

I am on the fence regarding other items such as pots, pans, shot glasses. When it comes to plates, silverware, and glassware, it is a bad investment.

Do the math. I will keep it simple.

The Investment

Dinner Set (4 Sets): $60
Silverware (8 Sets): $80
Glassware 12 Sets): $20


The numbers above are conservative. Unless you are still on the free stuff given to you by your parents (not likely) or the stuff from college that you took from the cafeteria, you have made the investment.

It is also conservative to assume 10% loss each year. Really then, the investment is $160 plus $16 for a total of $176…


Better yet, let’s go in this direction…

It takes roughly 5 gallons of water to do the dishes. A conservative guess is that it costs $1 in gas to heat that water, plus $.50 for the water, to do the dishes each night.

My Solution

Disposable eatingware! Think about it!

Plates: $15.99/1200 or $.013
“Silverware”: $6.49/500 or $.013
“Glassware”: $24.49/1000 or $.025

A typical meal costs less than $.25 in materials… Waste Management charges $12/month, or $3/wk for garbage. Assume 12 meals a week, and this is $.25 per meal.

From above, it costs $1.50 just in heat and water (no soap) for a batch of cleaning. With my solution, $.25 in materials plus $.25 for disposal totals $.50 per meal. This is a savings of $1.00 each meal…

I haven’t even added the investment above that was made…

Brilliant!

Don’t forget to thank the volunteers.

Rico

"I Never Met a Man Who Knew So Much About Nothing..."

Not much here today. I did take this test and scored a perfect score. How do you like these apples!

Don't forget to thank the volunteers.

Rico

"Why Are My Shoes a Topic of Conversation?"

So we are out at a birthday party for one of the guys in my inner-intermediate circle. For the sake of privacy, we will refer to this guy as “Kyle”. He really isn’t the important part of the story; I just figured that it will now give him a reason to check out this blog. See “Kyle” turned 27 or something. Actually he told me but I wasn’t paying attention. After all, if it isn’t about me, I don’t care.

So we are sitting up in the VIP section of a local bar/restaurant/brewery/whore-house. Actually, I made up that last part…

We are upstairs in the VIP location, looking down on the un-cool below. We had to share some of the upstairs space with a bachelorette party that was also happening at the same time… This item of information has no relevance to the story, other than the visual image that one has when they close their eyes and think of a bachelorette party, for a bachelorette.

Out of the blue one of the guys in our group (Shoe), starts bagging on my shoes. See, I am a Doc Marten’s guy. Jeans are Levi’s, shirts are Polo, and then the shoes. My most recent pair are classic yellow-stitched soles with a stylish buckle. Very cool. They look like this.

Shoe decides that these shoes look like something that were worn when the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock. In fact, “Argh, are you a witch?” was thrown out at me. Being in Holland at the time, I feared that the christian-police would come and drag me away as a heretic.

To help people out with cool, I will devote this post to explain “cool” or “not cool” footwear and styles.


Buckles. Cool.

Little time is spent tying shoelaces. If you have ever gone to the bar and walked into a Mens bathroom with the urine soaked floor and an untied shoelace. Ughh! Besides, getting in and out of shoes quickly is handy. Need I explain more? I think not.


Zippers. Uncool.

Really? I need to expound on this one? Zippers are ok on jackets, pants, and even after an angioplasty. On a pair of shoes? Really? Yeah what else, Velcro straps?


Velcro Straps. Uncool.

Stoke victims have the only excuse for anyone over the age of six to have Velcro on their shoes.


Tassles. Uncool.

On a loafer, yeah, right. “My name is Blaine.” Nothing says whack-job like tassles. On a coat, on your shoes, on your shirt? No matter.


Rivets. Cool.

Shoes riveted together look bad-ass. No need to add anymore.


Rhinestones. Uncool.

Crap that looks like jewelry does not look cool. These shoes will be at Goodwill in six months.


Black Leather. Cool.

Black shoes always look cool. Always. They even look cool with white socks. The one note is that you should always match your shoes with your belt.


Sandals. Uncool.

Sandals, or more accurately mandals, are never cool. Birkenstocks are an example of this. Name one cool person that wears these? Wearing these in public and not on the beach is well, you get the point.


Crocs. Cool.

These are not cool. These things jumped the shark 2 years ago. I know, because I was the first to wear these in west Michigan 6 years ago. I wear them and do not intend to be cool. I revel in the uncoolness of these. This uncoolness is actually cool. Crocs with a fake fur liner in them are not cool though. Croc “knockoffs are not cool.


Athletic Shoes. Uncool.

Athletic shoes worn anytime not performing athletics are uncool. No, ifs, ands, or buts. Really. You can rationalize all you want, but they are not cool. Mow the lawn? Sure. Check the mail? Knock yourself out! Jerry Seinfeld perpetrated this malfeasance. He was wrong. Criminally wrong.


Rubbers. Really?

Of course, I had to include these in the discussion. Any time that you can be protected is a good thing.


So there you are. An article outlining what is cool and uncool in the footwear. I have provided you my reader a very valuable primer on what is cool. You choose to ignore me at your own peril.

Don’t forget to thank the volunteers.

Rico