"I Say Stupid Things all the Time. I Can't go Two Minutes Without Saying Something Stupid."

So I joined my family to watch my daughter, Chatty Despeedstra, on Saturday morning to watch a play that she was in. She has been participating in a Community Theater children’s acting program over the past several months. It has become evident that she loves arts and drama. The day does not pass without her flavor of life being inflicted on everyone else in her path…

It is fun stuff really, as she has an innate ability to talk her way through anything… If that doesn’t work, she will wear on you… She will wear you out with the “please, why can’t I?” You simply break down and acquiesce; Her techniques have been perfected by the counter-intelligence divisions.

So Saturday morning, the Despeedstra family went to go see Chatty’s play… Of course everyone knows that in theater, the two things that all actors know about are that flowers are brought for the actor after their performance, and they will wait tables until they are 40 something… These are two immutable facts. So the Despeedstra family is in the lobby of the Muskegon Community Theater Saturday morning waiting for the series of performances to begin. Chatty is backstage getting ready. It is 8:30 Saturday morning. We are in Downtown Muskegon.

The lady arrives and approaches the Despeedstra family, as we stand off in a wing of the lobby where it is quiet. She is here for her daughter’s play as well. She approaches us to ask Mrs. Despeedstra (not my mother) where she purchased the flowers, and “where she could buy flowers for her daughter”.


We are in downtown Muskegon.


On a Saturday.


It is 8:30 in the morning.


In downtown Muskegon.


I could understand if this was a guy that approached us. It is perfectly understandable that some guy who hasn’t really figured what the hell is going on, that just showed up because the told him not to miss out, showed up without preparation… I can see that. That would be me! After all, I have failed to get Mrs. Despeedstra (not my mother) a Valentine’s gift on the basis that she did not want anything (as it is a contrived holiday) and was insistent on that fact. When the day came, and no gift forthcoming, I jeopardized my boyfriend status almost permanently (we were dating at the time)… I misconstrued “No means No” on this one.

I cannot write too harshly about that error in judgment…

We are in downtown Muskegon.


On a Saturday.


It is 8:30 in the morning.


She stood a better chance to buy crack cocaine than she did to find someone selling flowers. She made no mention that she forgot the flowers on her countertop, left them in her car, or that the dog ate them… All legitimate excuses. No, she never thought to bring flowers.

I am not sure what is more unconscionable. Forgot flowers. Didn’t plan by purchasing them the night before. Didn’t think to stop along the way at a gas station. Or simply that she might find flowers on a street corner.


We are in downtown Muskegon.


On a Saturday.


It is 8:30 in the morning.

Mrs. Despeedstra (not my mother) the kind and generous soul that I am not, gave the lady some of the flowers that were for our daughter… I openly debated with Mrs. Despeedstra (not my mother) afterwards, regarding this gesture. On the one hand, how do stupid people learn but by object lessons… Standing empty-handed after the performance, while other over-indulgent parent shower their children with flowers and such might help her learn. Tough love.

On the other hand, Brittany, crushed by not receiving flowers after her performance as a 2nd grader, grows up to be an “adult performer” and instead of receiving flowers, lives a life where by she receives singles after her shows… This is a tough one to reconcile… Am I wrong here?

Don’t forget to thank the volunteers.

Rico